


Praying for Cracks in the Sky

by the_rck



Category: Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, BDSM, Established Relationship, Fatalism, Love, M/M, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-23 16:16:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18553318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_rck/pseuds/the_rck
Summary: What Loki had wanted-- Loki always wanted what Odin wanted. No one else had ever asked. Even the Eldest hadn't seen him until he'd demanded to know what they might offer him.Odin on the Tree had opened the way. Anyone at all could have passed through in his wake. Loki counted it a failing in his people that no one else had thought to.





	Praying for Cracks in the Sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peternurphy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peternurphy/gifts).



> I apologize for not getting this posted before reveals. I had family obligations that interrupted my editing and delayed my finishing the story until after reveals.
> 
> It's been a long time since I read The Elder Edda and The Prose Edda, so this is a mishmash of what I remember from there with various bits of cultural osmosis about how the characters and stories have appeared in other (non-Marvel) sources. My Loki, for example, is likely at least a little influenced by Diana Wynne Jones' version.
> 
> Thanks to Gammarad for beta reading and cheerleading.
> 
> Title from Allison Eir Jenks' poem, "The Neighbor's Will."

Loki would never say that he hated Asgard. Well, perhaps he had already said it more than once, for those with wit enough to hear. He and his oath-brother had had such dreams for the home they would build. They'd been willing to bargain with powers beyond their realm. Loki couldn't say, after, if they'd thought they'd slip the noose of paying the price or if they'd simply been exhausted from an unmeasurable journey involving dashed hope after dashed hope.

Everyone remembered that Odin traded his eye for knowledge. Everyone remembered him hanging nine days on the Tree. As far as Loki could tell, no one had even considered that Loki might have made a bargain, too.

No, Odin knew, had always known. He understood it before Loki did, may even have understood it before they bound their souls to pacts with the Eldest. The first time they were alone after Odin gave up his eye, Odin flipped up the patch over the hole in his face so that Loki could see the ragged gap of their loss.

Loki didn't look away. Pretending that a sacrifice hadn't happened always soured the results. For a moment, he felt like he was falling into an abyss that the midnight sun just past midsummer couldn't touch. Odin's patch covered not flesh and blood damage but a place where the primal energy of the universe roiled. 

Loki wondered if Odin had been sure, when he raised the patch, that the abyss beneath wouldn't reach out to swallow their world. That might even be why they had walked two hours through the woods, leaving their people still building the place that Odin said would be called Asgard. 

The valley where they stood had been their people's camp while Odin hung on the Tree, so there was a firepit and rough benches. The ground here was clear, and a stream ran down from the mountains nearby. The shelters they'd made to keep off the rain still stood, and there were dry leaves and pine needles on the ground under them.

Nine nights was a long time even as spring reached for summer. Most of them had simply been waiting for Odin to die of thirst. There were stories of those who had reached for the Eldest. Most died. The rewards for success might be vast, or-- There were stories about the price of success, too.

Loki stared at the eye that was no longer an eye. He was almost certain that he could reach through Odin's face and grasp the chaos. He could pull it out and either destroy their world or remake everything better. _It would be glorious to try._ His fingers twitched, and he raised his hand.

Odin lowered the patch. "You will, someday. When you do, it all ends. We lose everything."

Loki choked on the bitter truth of that. He looked at his raised hand. "I--" He inhaled raggedly. "When I said yes, I thought of fire's warmth and necessity." He hadn't thought about fire's eagerness to escape and to devour. He hadn't thought about impulse and anger. "My very words strike sparks now." He had no idea what would happen when he actually meant to destroy.

"And I thought of foresight as a way to prevent tragedy, a way to make better choices. I was wrong, too." There was a grimness on Odin's face that said that he'd been cheated, that they both had been. They'd gotten everything they'd asked for; they gotten other things, too, and couldn't give them back.

They likely wouldn't if they could. Turning to the Eldest had been desperation. Their people were dying, slowly but certainly and painfully, and Odin wanted nothing but to protect them. The stones of Asgard would be home as long as they lived.

What Loki had wanted-- Loki always wanted what Odin wanted. No one else had ever asked. Even the Eldest hadn't seen him until he'd demanded to know what they might offer him.

Odin on the Tree had opened the way. Anyone at all could have passed through in his wake. Loki counted it a failing in his people that no one else had thought to.

Odin reached out and touched Loki's face, brushing fingers along Loki's jaw. "We have time, more than a little, tonight and for many years to come."

Loki turned a little to kiss the tips of Odin's fingers. "Fire can be controlled. I can't do that, but I trust you for it." He always had.

Odin smiled. There was a sadness in it that Loki didn't like. "I will. As long as I can. There will be good times, but in the end..."

Loki looked away from that sadness and considered. His oath-brother was trapped. Loki himself... possibly not. If Loki was doomed to destroy, perhaps he could find a crack in destiny that might serve to shatter the walls. Fire could do that, too, when it wasn't fully contained. All it would take was a spark.

"The only warmth I feel is from you," Odin said softly. "Tonight, you're mine. Kneel."

The intensity, the intention, in Odin's command made Loki shiver. He felt one corner of his mouth twitch upward. "Make me," he said. He trusted that Odin would hear the unspoken plea underneath the challenge. _Make me forget for a while. Pretend you can forget, too. Nothing has changed. We can make it so._

Odin stood. "Do you think I can't?" He took a step closer and put a hand on the top of Loki's head.

Loki bowed his head and let himself slip off the bench he'd been sitting on. Once he was on his knees, he pressed his face against Odin's leg. "I know you can," he murmured, just loud enough that Odin had to be able to hear him. "The fighting part of it just seems like time wasted." He heard Odin's breath catch. "Unless..." He hesitated.

Odin's fingers clenched in Loki's hair and yanked. "I want what comes after." Odin crouched beside Loki. "I _own_ you."

If Loki'd been able to move his head, he'd have nodded. Instead, he licked his lips. "You're cruel," he said. He was a little surprised by the depth of longing he heard in his own words. The need sounded eternal, insatiable.

Fire was always hungry. Always. Whatever Odin did, it wasn't going to be enough to satisfy Loki.

"Brat," Odin said. He pushed Loki away and looked down sternly as Loki sprawled in the dirt. "Strip." As Loki started fumbling with his clothing, Odin asked, "Crying or screaming?"

Loki went still. "Crying's quieter." He meant it more as a question than an answer.

Wind swirled around both of them. Odin didn't move. Even his hair didn't stir. "No one will hear," he said, "and if I wanted to fuck you in front of everyone, if I wanted to do anything in front of everyone-- make you scream, make you cry, make you beg-- you'd let me."

Loki would, so he only looked at the ground. "Please don't," he said after a few seconds. "It would be--" _Amazing. It would be amazing._ "None of them would respect me after, and we may need them to hear my words." There was a reason they'd always been careful about what the others knew.

"I want to," Odin said. "I want to break you apart and shame you past recovering so that I always have this." Odin's need and desire sounded darker and deeper than Loki's.

 _New and colder._ Loki shuddered. He got the last of his clothing off. "And I want to burn you any time you're not careful enough. I didn't before, so you'll have to watch for it." He thought that Odin didn't really need the warning, not in the long term, but tonight, Odin might forget and lose more than an eye. "The Eldest have left neither of us safe."

Odin shook his head then went down on one knee next to Loki. "There will be a time when I can't protect you," he said. The words were almost inaudible and directly in Loki's ear. "The Eldest only gave me respite."

Loki knew Odin well enough to infer the rest of the bargain. Odin had traded a slower and harsher path for one briefer and a bit kinder.

Kinder for everyone but the two of them, for everyone who didn't know. There was death at the end because there was always death at the end.

"I don't want to know," Loki told him.

"You already do."

Loki shrugged because it didn't matter what he knew or didn't. He bared his teeth at Odin. "I have always fought the inevitable."

Odin wrapped one hand around Loki's left wrist and squeezed. "You always lose."

Loki felt the joints in his wrist and hand shift in response to the pressure. He yanked against Odin's grip, pulling and twisting harder than he normally would. "You are not inevitable."

"I am." Odin pulled Loki in close and wrapped his arms around Loki's body, pinning his arms. Odin kissed Loki, and Loki bit him hard enough to draw blood. Odin shoved Loki to the ground and slapped him.

Odin, Loki noted as he blinked to try to clear his vision, was stronger than he had been. By the time Loki had caught up with events, he was sprawled, face down, in the dirt with one of Odin's hands pushing into his back and the other caressing Loki's ass. Loki inhaled deeply because he knew what came next.

Loki could escape. Probably. Possibly. But that wasn't how this game was played.

Odin's hand slapped hard against Loki's ass, forcing the breath from Loki's lungs. Loki's flesh stung as his nerves protested the blow. In the interval between that impact and the next, he felt flashes of pain, sudden and loud, like pockets of water or sap exploding as green wood burned, spreading down his legs and up his spine.

_That's new._

Loki managed to remain still until the fifth blow. Then he started to writhe because this, a thing they'd done so many times before, was suddenly too much.

Odin's hand on Loki's back wasn't enough to stop Loki breathing, but it felt too heavy to shift and too heavy to bear. "Easy," Odin said. "It's not that bad, and you'd bear worse for me." His other hand touched Loki's ass again but more gently this time.

Loki couldn't find words, so he only shook his head.

"Are you crying?" Odin sounded more curious than angry. "That's... disappointing. We have the whole night."

Loki raised his head enough to get one arm under his forehead. "You love my tears." His voice sounded thick and slow to his own ears. "They're beautiful."

The weight on Loki's back eased a little. "More than worth what it costs to feed you."

Loki choked on a laugh. "I'll eat more." His hands clenched, and he forced them to relax.

Odin laughed. "We'll have more." Each time Odin's fingers brushed Loki's ass they sent echoes of pain through Loki's body.

Loki whimpered. He couldn't think how else to let Odin know, not without a long and frustrating conversation. Words weren't supposed to betray him like this. "I want to give you--" There wasn't an ending to that because there wasn't an ending to what he wanted to-- would actually-- give Odin.

"Oh," Odin said, sounding as if he'd figured something out. "That's fascinating." His lips and whiskers brushed Loki's back. "You'll adjust. It feels the same to me, and, right now, I want-- I want _enough_. Keep still as long as you can."

This time, Loki really knew what was coming. He lost count of blows that landed on his ass. He forgot the Eldest and Odin's eye and the uncounted years of wandering. He let himself dissolve into the pain and into the love he and Odin had for each other.

When the spanking ended, all Loki could do was lie there, sobbing. He felt Odin's hands leave his body, and he missed them, even missed the pain they brought. He hadn't quite managed thought when he felt Odin's hands again. This time, they were pulling Loki's bruised ass cheeks apart.

"I was going to wait and do this last," Odin told Loki, "but I don't think you'll appreciate it later. I want you to feel my cock and remember who you belong to."

Odin's words and his familiar, possessive growl sent a different sort of spark through Loki's body. He moaned and hoped that Odin would understand both the desire and the defiance. 

Odin did nothing to make the process easier for Loki, and Loki felt himself getting hard at the reminder that Odin respected Loki's resilience. Odin's cock might as well have been rock. It forced Loki open with the slow, inexorable force of a glacier shifting.

Loki twitched his hips, trying to get Odin to move faster.

"No." One of Odin's hands pressed into Loki's back again. "If I want slow, we go slow." His breath hissed between his teeth. "I can feel every flinch as you try to keep me from pressing on your bruises." His other hand squeezed one of Loki's buttocks.

Loki screamed. It wasn't just the bruises; it was the fire again.

Odin kept squeezing for what felt like years, and Loki screamed and tried to kick. "That's gorgeous," Odin said with a little awe in his voice. He did it again, three times, while he was actively fucking Loki.

When Odin finished, Loki sobbed. Loki was still hard, and he knew that Odin wouldn't let him try for relief by rutting against the ground.

Odin liked seeing Loki desperate. Odin liked answering that with torment.

Loki probably wouldn't come until he had one of Odin's fists deep in his ass.

"Stand up." Odin prodded Loki with his toe. "We're going to the stream."

Loki wasn't looking forward to that. The water wouldn't have warmed much past the ice melt that produced it. His arms trembled as he pushed himself up, but his legs were steady under him.

Odin's hand wrapped around one of Loki's biceps. It had more the feel of support than of force, but Odin used it to propel Loki toward the water. "Wash." He let go of Loki's arm and added, a little more gently, "The cold will help the bruises."

It did, but it also made Loki's cock and balls try to pull up into his abdomen. He didn't think it was a fair trade. He washed his face and arms and chest since he was there anyway.

Odin making small, appreciative noises had nothing whatsoever to do with it; Loki was above showing off for his lover.

Later, hours later, the two of them lay together on a bed of dry leaves. They were too spent to think about trying to find their companions, but Odin found enough energy to explain the future to which he'd bound himself.

"It never included you making a bargain," Odin said. "I can't-- You're there, but I can't tell what you're doing. It's not-- You're _variable_." He sounded sincere. He sounded hopeful.

Loki pressed his face against Odin's shoulder so that Odin couldn't see his expression. "I am. I will be," he said with absolute conviction.

****

Loki hated Asgard because Odin had lied. Odin didn't believe that Loki could change their fate. Odin didn't believe that anybody could. Loki had seen Odin speak to dying people with the same certainty about a happy tomorrow. Odin had lied because he wanted Loki to have hope even when Odin thought there was-- could be-- none. 

Loki hated Asgard for the price of it and for the fact that Odin still mostly thought the price worth paying. Sometimes, Loki hated Odin for having accepted the Eldest's trap so tamely.

Even the Eldest could slip, and Loki had always fought the inevitable. He would find a way out for both of them. He'd done harder things for spite. Odin and the Eldest had no idea what Loki could do for love.

**Author's Note:**

> I think that this could lead to Ragnarok, but I like to think that Loki still has a chance to alter their fates. If it does lead to Ragnarok, Loki's going to have fought fate for every millimeter.


End file.
